Enermax Uber Chakra or Crazy Taiwanese Hyped-up Nomenclature

Hello my-fellow non-existent readers,

Let me begin this post by first saying “There is no such thing as a budget conscious enthusiast!”

That being said, I request you please refrain from posting in the comment section with hurtful words like “How could you spend that much on this shit man?” or “What the fuck is wrong with you, I could feed myself for 6 weeks with cash like that”. Instead I plead that you try to understand what it is like to be an enthusiast, especially when it comes to computer hardware.  Hardware, unlike software, cannot be downloaded off of torrent sites!

Well anyways, two days ago we saw the launch of the latest addition of AMD’s latest processor, the AMD Phenom II (or DRAGON ala Fusion), and these are all exciting news, especially with the 940 BE under 300 dollars. I’ll admit AMD has had it’s glory days but the TLB erra….. no I’m sorry, we’re not here to talk about the new Phenom II’s that I cannot afford right now (although I am glad that they are socket AM2+ (which means you don’t need a new mothe….) ok ok I’m done for real, but honestly these are just exciting news, but I’ll leave that for another day.

Ok back to business. For all intents and purposes, I had my mind set on buying an iCute casing. Yes, I know, when I came up with that idea, I had my balls tied and was surfing the net reading reviews and of the such of various ATX casing. Whilst the name sounds really gay,  some of their products aren’t as bad. Had money not been an issue, easily I would have checked out the offerings of Lian-Li or heaven forfend Silverstone. Full aluminium chassis, light, strong, and imba. Instead, with what I have, the only thing aluminium I could afford was brushed aluminium bars at the front of the chasis (which is only for aesthetics).

So off I went to the far reaches of Bagrad to seek a casing in what would appear to be the Lowyat of Moscow (minus the prices). They boast over 3000 computer shops, but honestly, there’s only like 20 or 30 you’d really care to visit, which is more than enough by anyone’s standards. Prior to the visit, I had made my mind up to purchase an iCute, but they don’t carry that in moscow, so instead, I figured I’d get the Thermaltake V9, but when I saw it, the Thermaltake Armor+ was just amazing. It didn’t sweep me off my feet or any of that shit, just that the Thermaltake Armor + LCS had a built in Liquid Cooling System.

Some pictures, cause those are mandatory…

Thermaltake V9

Thermaltake Armor Plus

As you can see, the Armor+ looks so much better than the V9. Honestly, when you’re up at the store, regardless of how much it says under the price tag, when you compare those two, It would be like comparing buying a Viva or a Myvi. Essentially, they’re the same thing, with a couple of exterior changes, but otherwise, you get the same thing.

The bar up front is brushed aluminium, and there is ample space, nice LED fan up front pretty decent, by any account, and I almost went for it….that was until I heard the voice from the corner of the shop whilst I was talking to the shopkeeper about specifications and such, and bargaining the price…

“Are you done yet? Can we go? My feet hurts, my legs hurt, my ass hurts, my face hurts, lets go back home. I’m hungry, I’m this, I’m that, just buy anything and lets go.”

That was just the second shop we had been to and women, being women, have started bitching. So, I told them to sit down at the nearest coffee shop and went on a solo mission hunting casings. During this hunt, I was introduced to the Gigabyte Aurora 3D 570 and my oh my was it tantalizing.

Gigabyte 3D Aurora 570

The above picture does not do this casing justice. It looks so much better in real life, and there are tonnes of pictures online that look so much better but honestly, I do not want to do that for this case cause it’s not as good as the one I wish to present next (or the fact that it was way beyond the realm of what I could afford or that I do not own it).

So anyways, when I got home, I started looking and reading reviews of casings available in the market. As painful as it was, I had to avoid reviews of Silverstone, Lian-Li, and the such. So the next day, I went, after getting rid of the women, to go get myself a brand new casing. I finally get to the shop and decided, hey I’m hungry, lets do lunch. I figured, I’ll go in, buy the case and get back home under the hour, but what’s that they say about the best laid plans?

After lunch, I head to the shop to look for my Thermaltake Armor+, first bad news of the day, they only have 1, which is the display unit, and that looks shitty with scratches and all. To make matters worst, the front aluminium bar, is actually wedged off the bottom socket and it’s loose. I know the bars are removable, before any of you point it out, but the socket that it attaches to is loose, and doesn’t hold it strongly anymore. Imagine a vagina that has been repeatedly shoved in with a really large phallic-shaped vegetable.” The next time your tiny penis goes in, she ain’t gonna feel a thing (c) Shorty @ Demonhunter51 @ Vk@Area51.  “

*At this point, im trying hard not to start every paragraph with the word “so”

So, at this point, I’m pissed off, I mean I knew what I wanted, and you’re telling me I can’t have it? Well Fuck you sir. I was about to leave, and the salesman suggests to me, Why not get a Kandalf? Ohh Kandalf huh, yeah, they’re pretty good, infact they’re absolutely amazing. They’re well built, large, and light. Good choice, that’ll be 15,000 rubbles. SAY WHAT!? 15,000 RUBBLES? For that money, I should be able to have you shave my balls as well. Not being the one that has even an ounce of the need to cover macho, I told him I do not have space in my hostel room to place such a huge beast, and he seemed to have understood the point and started suggesting casings that have less than 5 figures.

If you’ve seen any tamil love movie, you’ll definitely see a scene in which perhaps the hero/heroin (sic) will be talking to someone and suddenly, the hero/heroine’s future partner walks on the other side of the room and they now show you a shot of the hero/heroine staring at the future partner, and the background sound would be played by a watered down voice of the hero/heroine’s friend continuing his/her pointless conversation which the hero/heroine would not be listening to. This is exactly what happened, the salesman was talking about other casings and I caught the glimpse of another huge casing, and I was not taking in anything the salesman had to say (or maybe I didn’t understand what he was on about in the first place).

On a rack, it was visible, Next to the Coolermaster Stacker Nvidia, a casing, from a maker, of till now I only thought made power supplies, Enermax. It was called the Enermax Uber Chakra. I know what you’re thinking, it’s something from Naruto or some shit, but rest assured, Chakra has a deeper meaning than that which you can read at wikipedia at your own damned leisure.

Let me show you what im talking about;  Click here to check it all out!

So (Christ, why do I keep starting sentences with so?) , I asked the salesman if I can use the computer nearby to check the casings specifications and the such. He agreed and allowed me to use google! Well, all I knew about this case that it was a Full Tower ATX and had 2 USB slots, eSATA, and Firewire ports, and five 5 1/4 bezzles. Also I could see a 25 cm fan on the side that could work as an intake or exhaust, and the front fan, but I needed more information. I found all the details that I needed and it had everything I needed.

So I tried barganing a bit more, got a final price and felt it was decent (by Moscow standards). I closed one eye and went for it….

And that concludes todays post. Tomorrow, if I feel like it, I might continue more about this case, hell, I might even make a post on building my new rig (well not exactly new, just recycled parts and some new stuff).

Cheers,

-HypoG

~ by hypoglossal on January 10, 2009.