Going Dutch

Everybody seems to be familiar with the term Going Dutch. To put it simply, in the event a few people (2 or more) decide to perhaps go together for dinner, going dutch would indicate each person would shell out the cost for his or her meal alone. Needless to say, I am not a very big fan of this method; I’ll get back to it later. 

 

Most of the people around me, have such distinct characteristics, that you could probably define general situations by using their names. I will try to enumerate a couple of them, for the purpose of educating, and also, perhaps in allowing you to use these terms when the need for it arises in the future.

 

Whilst in no way is this a complete list, I have decided not to arrange it in any particular order as I’m neither bothered nor capable of such an arduous task. 

 

1) Pulling a Tina : Making Promises that you cannot/will not keep.

Ex: Tina: I will clean up your room next week, month, semester.

 

2) Pulling an Anu : Cut their statements short, in turn annoying the other party.

Ex: Anu: You know what happened, he said that I’m not…HypoG, do you think I’m a…. nevermind, forget it.

 

3) Pulling a Kristof : The incessant need to argue everything, even, and especially on matters one isn’t well versed in.

Ex: CRT monitors are better than LCD’s because the refresh rates on LCD’s can’t keep up to those demanded by fast paced games!

 

4) Going Sasha : Unlike going Dutch, in this instance, one person covers the cost of the meal for everyone.

Ex: Sasha : Hey, Lets go to Paddingtons House of Pancakes for breakfast!

Me : I’m Broke.

Sasha : No problem, we’ll just go Sasha.

 

5) Pulling a Rowena : The constant urge to drag as many of the student body to church, regardless of them being believers or otherwise

Ex: Hey Guys!!!! wnaa go churc tmrw? Pstr kvn sayz he has plned a wondrful supriz for us! 

 

6) Pulling a Shorty : Being adamant and unreasonable*

Ex: Homes, since you’re going to Kalush, can you help me buy a 300 rb reload card and some food?

Shorty : No. You’ll thank me later. *Subjective on the unreasonable.

 

7) Pulling an Abz : Bailin’ out on the very last minute.

Ex: This summer, lets go to Tioman! I’ll get my dad to book and shit!

Summer; How, Tioman?

-Sorry homes, tak jadi, you guys carry on.

Ex: Abz, so we celebrating your birthday at Shorties house this friday?

-Yeah, confirmed!

Come friday; Sorry homes, I can’t make it, you guys carry on.

Ex: Abz : Lets go Watch American Pie at 6.

- Yeah sure, sounds like a plan. We’ll meet you there.

5.30 at the mall; Abz, where the fuck are you?

- Sorry homes, something came up, and I can’t make it. You guys carry on.

 

8 ) Pulling a Priyan : Running an event under a strict budget.

Ex: I can’t believe we just pulled a Priyan. Seriously, running MASSAD with only USD 5000? Who would have thought that would be possible.

 

9) Pulling a Mike : Keeping your cool, even at the verge of getting expelled.

Ex: Mike, exam how dei? Chill La. Mike, tomorrow exam, you finish studying or not? Chill La. Mike, exam now, ready or not? Chill la.

Teacher : What is the treatment for SCM (Sternocleidomastoid Syndrome). 

Mike : Order the person to chill instead of being uptight.

Teacher : Excellent! 5.

Mike : Chill la.

 

And FINALLY….

10) Being HypoG : THe Ultimate level of Lazy. The epitome of otiosity.

Ex: Homes, on your way out, do you mind throwing out this rubbish, switching off the light, and locking my door? Otherwise I’d have to get up .

Idiot Spotted

They say a picture says a thousand words, and so I’ll just let it do the talking.

Clearly He doesn't know who Musshy is

Just as I was finally starting to think there was hope for Malaysians yet, I’m once again smacked off the hope-ladder with a swift low-blow to my prestigious nut-sack, and left for the wolves whilst the nut slowly enters a gangrenous phase which eventually smells like dog shit mixed with the smell of putrid flesh.

Right.

10 Dalil Mengapa Membeli iPhone 3G Perbuatan Orang Bodoh

iShit

Once again, it is proven that superior advertising of an inferior product will get the idiotic masses to succumb and accept mediocre products at extraordinary prices. Think about it, seems like everyone is talking about it, including the village idiot and his aunt, but c’mon, what’s the big fuckin’ deal?

People here are willing to shell out close to Rm 3400-3700 for the iPhone, something that I cannot fathom. Perhaps the lack of knowledge on what they seem to be overpaying for might be the reason? As a matter of fact, the only reason I seem to get from anyone about wanting an iPhone is that it’s apparently cool?

Trust me, Unless If You're This Guy, not even the iPhone can make you cool

It appears the days that consumers make providers compete among each other with the latest and greatest of technology at awesome prices is over and it’s a complete take-over by idiots with money and no knowledge on how to utilize it and a huge placard hanging around their neck reading “Con Me, Im Rich”.

Anyways, for the rest of you who might be considering getting an iPhone, for reasons that you think it’s “cool”, read on:

1. Unless if you’re from one of the countries where the iPhone has already been released, you’re pretty much forced to get an imported _unlocked_ version. This gives dealers a reason to hike up the price for all the eager numbskulls waiting to be rid of a load of cash. However, these _unlocked_ phones may only work for a limited time as future firmware upgrades for the phone would imply you either attempt to unlock it yourself (at risk of bricking it [ouch, bricking an iPhone that doesn't have warranty]), or spend more money to get it professionally done.

As for the officially released ones, via network providers, that doesn’t sound very smart either. The rates are pretty much horrible and you’ll end up paying much more than merely buying an iPhone. The only advantage is that in this case, your ass is covered by the official warranty.

2) Worst idea of 3G ever? It’s a 3G phone that doesn’t have a front facing camera, for Video Calls over 3G, which seems to be one of the selling points of a 3G phone? No HSDPA (High Speed Downlink Packet Access). So you can’t connect it to your laptop to act like a 3G modem that allows you to surf the net at regions without wireless access. Where’s all the 3G hype?

3) Shitty ass Camera. You’re paying out of your ass for a shitty 2mp camera, with no autofocus, no alterable settings, and no flash, and here’s the kicker, no video recording.

4) No MMS’ allowed. No Sending Pictures in your messages.  No bluetooth syncing, no transferring of documents via bluetooth, no A2DP. All In All it’s just a pretty expensive paper weight!

5) On-Screen Keyboard. Jesus H. Christ, unless if you’re a poor little african kid, suffering from starvation, with bony fingers, there is no possible way to utilize this tool. There is no alternative! There is no copy and paste! How can a so-called future phone lack all these basic functions?

6) The battery can not be removed. So if your battery dies, you can’t just go take a spare and use it. Instead, you have to send it in. The battery life is shit, so unless if you just want to use your phone for 10 minutes, (pfft a couple of hours), forget about playing music and expecting calls.

7) The GPS cannot be used in real-time. That is, your location will be superimposed on the map, however, you cannot have it give you directions and shit as any other GPS does (That annoying shit that goes, take left at the next corner).

No Fucking Flash. Websites are so media-rich and flash ladden these days that flash is an essential component. I realize they have a shitty utility that can be used to play you-tube videos, but what about those of us who would like to use redtube on the go?

9) Abilash wants it.

10) Ashwar doesn’t have it.

I think those are some pretty solid arguments to change any preconceived exaggerated notions one might have about how good the iPhone really is. However, if you would like to be a damned tool, and act like a fool, please, feel free to get yourself a shiny paper weight.

For shizzle,

HypoG

The Orgasm Train

If there was only one new movie you plan to watch this summer, don’t waste your money on all the other rubbish released. Hancock was okay, That Dragon shit (It’s so ridiculous I can’t even be bothered to google it’s name), Shaolin girl looks to appease all the anime pedo’s with their typical ‘cute japanese girl in a short skirt speaking in a fake ’sexy’ voice acting innocent and ignorant’. The only exception I can think of is the new Ben Stiller flick Tropic Thunder, and that, only because anything and everything by Ben is awesome.

Anyways back to Batman. So I hear steers and queers have been waiting for hours in line only to find that the show is sold out when they finally reach the front of the line at mid valley, the pavillion, klcc, and 1utama. Knowing well about the typical Malaysian attitude, I decided to watch it in a less popular joint, and needless to say, I was able to purchase awesome seats about 15 minutes before the show began.

The cinema itself was brand new in a new mall so everything was still in working condition, ranging from the air conditioning to the awesome seats (which in comparison to other cinemas would have been tormented by the drinks, food, and even syringes that patrons bring along). To safeguard the sanctity of this complex, and to ensure I would be able to watch flicks like Batman in a cinema with less than 15 people, I shall refrain from naming the complex, and disclosing it’s location.

Back to the movie, to be honest, I went in without expecting much. From experience, most of these hyped up movies, especially those based off of comic strips, are known to be disappointing. Honestly, Spiderman and the hulk were not particularly worth all the hype. Nothing really captivating nor keeping me thrilled the entire film. However, Im happy to report just as everyone else over the internet has mentioned, that it’s indeed a good movie.

It has all the usual requirements of a comic book hero, which can be summarised as the following:

Hero starts out as a normal person.

Hero suffers a significant loss, and is emotionally distressed.

Hero therefore decides to use his abilities for good and combat evil.

Hero saves the city but is viewed as a menace.

Meh

Bale (or better known as the nigger that played batman again) was a decent batman. Although his acting at certain scenes were pretty much defined as over doing, overall, him reprising batman was a good call by Christoper Nolan.

This movie, would not have been as good as it was without Heath ledger. It is a shame that we lost a man of his talent, because I doubt anyone else in the known world could possibly play this role better {with the exception of Ben Stiller, but again, we’re talking on a mortal level here}. I particularly enjoyed every scene with the Joker, and being a villain, ironically he turns out as nothing short of ineffable joy.

<3 XoXo Drool XoXo <3

I cannot reiterate enough times to make it clear how much this movie would suck if it wasn’t for the joker. To elucidate my case on why this movie would suck otherwise, here’s a couple of examples (to ensure you may ignore the scenes involving them, to save your sanity)

1) Rachel Dawes

Annoying Lil' Bitch

Jesus H. Christ, I cannot tell you how annoying this bitch was. Everytime she came unto the screen the hard on that I’ve gained from watching the Joker do his thing just dies off, as a matter of fact, it loses a permanent inch. Now my penis has shrunk so much and has practically created a small crater-like fovea which people are now mistaking for as a vagina or the massive camel-toe. Honestly I wish she would have died sooner, but unfortunately, they had to do it only halfway after the movie.  I’ll be honest;

I was disappointed that she wasn't killed here already

This was a pretty devastating for me and I’m sure all the people in the cinema would have concurred (with the exception of the chink girls, but who cares what they think anyways). I was hoping the joker would rip her a new one but sadly batman had to be a bitch. Had she died then and there, half the people in the cinema would have ejaculated then and there. (Note: When the joker was on, everyone had a hard on, and not even the fugly face and the bad acting of that bitch could overcome the Joker’s awesomeness.

I’m sure you’re all wondering when exactly did I ejaculate? At the moment when Batman kicked the door open, only to reveal to the audience that he indeed wanted to save this nigger:

Nigger

Good choice by batman, I would have done the same. Had he not done this the bitch would have never died. Think about it, she’s not hot, she’s not even a good actor, why the hell is she even in this movie?

That’s about it, there was nothing else bad about the film. And I suppose that’s enough spoilers. Watch the movie, or castrate, no kill yourself.

Yours Humbly,

HypoG

Medical Specialty Aptitude Test

Whilst working on my Akasha Video (5 seconds made) I decided to take a break and watch porn. Whilst searching for the truly exotic kind of porn, I found a link to a Medical Specialty Aptitude Test. Apparently the website I came from stated that it was rather accurate (Malaysian Medical Resources), and would be a good way for the undecided to choose a career path.  Frankly, I wasn’t too surprised with the outcome of the test, and here’s my results:

Try taking the test, and lemme know how you fare.

-HypoG

P.S. Apparently not taking defeat graciously seems to lead to such an outcome.

My latest Addiction

 

Akasha :- The Queen of Pain

Akasha is one of the many souls claimed by the Blade, Frostmourne. Raised to serve the Lich King as a Banshee, she desired to become pure substance once more. Driving deep into the forests, she was able to subdue and posses a Succubus minion. Rightly bearing the title, Queen of Pain, she enjoys nothing more than inflicting massive damage on her foes, using both the poisonous strike of her succubus host and the vicious howl retained from her Banshee nature. Akasha breaks her enemies eardrums with torturing screams, some so loud they manifest in powerful waves, that ripple across the lands, shattering all in their wake.

Full write-up on this sexy beast in weeks that follow!

P.S. Yes, the description about her abilities are basically the typical blabber and shrieks that come out of women, when they speak.

Race, Religion and Your m0mma.

Whenever it comes to the socio-political situation back home, I’ve always been extrovert, and indeed many who are around me can attest to that. Whenever I was to condemn the stupidity of someone; it’s always been head on, no holds barred. Today, I find myself constantly gravitating into the shit-hole that holds Malaysia from achieving her true potential.

Discrimination, Apartheid, Non-secular, Incompetent, and Stupid has been just some of the terms thrown out to describe the government. How much of these are rather true? Let’s examine the facts.

The Bar Council of Malaysia, a somewhat docile (In a sense that they never hold rallies beyond the Humans Right Day’s walk [December 10th, I think, they walk 1 day prior to this]) and rarely do ever show out their concerns (They’ve taken it to the streets before, and only when shit _really_ hits the fan) took a momentous march from the Palace of Justice to the Prime Ministers office to submit a memorandum demanding the PM to do his job instead of sleeping, or spending tax dollars on vacation, to set up a Royal Commission to investigate the Judicial System which has been plagued by reports of Judge fixing and corruption (nothing surprising in Malaysia).

The de facto Law Minister Nazi, is an imbecile; and chooses to respond in what the current CJ (then) had to say; Basically denying the whole thing (Homie, If there’s a video circulating around with you in deep shit, it would help to elucidate your case than to merely deny the whole thing). To add insult to injury, he has the balls to say there is no need to reform this corrupt system. The PM’s Son-In-Law follows like a good Lap dog. I do not know how the PM (Who was once called Mr. Clean) can sleep at night knowing of this blatant corruption? He shrugs it off (perhaps ill-advised by his advisers?) and sets up a powerless team of 3 homies who would explore the case. When the 3 homies submit their decision that a Royal Comission needs to be set in, first Nazri denies, then the PM says Ok (A process that could have been Ok-ed earlier).

Fast forward, we have the BERSIH march kicking in (Coalition for Free and Fair Elections). Since Malaysia is a democracy-practicing nation that is good at breaking stupid records and achieving pointless feats, we defy the Constitution that allows us the freedom to march to show our discontent. Instead, chemical-laced water and tear gas are fired at protesters. Regardless, the memorandum is succesfully passed to the King’s representative, but no action has been taken since.

More recently, we’ve had HINDRAF (Hindu’s Rights Action Force) doing a march over the marginalized Indians. Whilst their claims in the memorandum are sometimes exceedingly exaggerated, you cannot blame a cornered dog; whose moves you cannot predict. Having no more viable options, they placed a 4 Trillion US lawsuit towards the British Government for bringing Indians to Malaysia and not setting up a proper system in which they would end up being marginalized. We all know the whole reason for this ridiculous suit is to garner international attention to their pleas. On the day of their march, more chemical-laced water, and tear gas fired. Almost 50 people were detained, some charged.

The next part is the best;

The very next day, the PM announces he’s glad that the public have confidence and are happy with the way he is leading the nation, based on a survey from NST (mainstream media, fully controlled by the government; read: lapdogs). PM, bangun dan tengok, boleh? Who in their right mind still has confidence with your leadership?

Anyways, this is Malaysia and we’ll live another day to achieve another stupid thing, maybe we’ll send a tourist to the moon (Oh wait! We’ve already done that). What I do know is, as long as people in Malaysia are discriminated by their creed and colour, the country is doomed to fail. I don’t disagree with the notion of having NEP, however, I am fully disappointed with how it is carried out. I do not understand why we need draconian laws like ISA, OSA and other assorted rubbish, perhaps to sweep skeletons under the rug? I don’t understand why we have the MAIN STREAM MEDIA, clearly they’re pointless, and only publish what the government allows them to. Journalistic ethics? Kiss my ass. And I must be really really stupid because I do not understand the need to have 3 seperate parties derived from their respective races, joined to form one party? Sure it helps vote fishing from the relevant races, but honestly, how do you expect something like this to succeed?

Asking people to vote in the upcoming GE isn’t going to help much, considering the vote rigging, and phantom votings? Don’t cha know, we’ve got 120 year old folks voting in Malaysia on a regular basis. The latest turn of event, they want to edit the constitution again (40th time, perhaps? in 50 years of nationhood. America amended it’s Constitution maybe 27 times, and Singapore, twice). Apparently, the legal retiring age for the top-honkie in the Election Comission is 65, which he is due to hit this december 31st. Now, BN is pushing to change it into 66, which would allow this head honcho to oversee the next GE which is rumoured to hit early next year. The current chief has alot of allegation against his bias-ness towards the government but mehhh, who gives a shit about that.

http://daftarj.spr.gov.my/daftarbi.asp <— REGISTER TO VOTE BITCHES! Check your status here!

-HypoG

P.S. Please….save…the…country!

The Theory of Evolution and Idiots.

About 2 years back, whilst kicking back during winter holidays, I was in a friends room talking about things that carry no weight. While we were exchanging ideas of high academic significance (Read: What’s the latest porn to watch and which model has the best bonkers), we got all stirred up over the theory of evolution. To be honest, it wasn’t completely off-topic either for the winter examinations prior to the holiday had a small scope dealing with this. So anyhow, while my friend and I were relating how the exams went for us, comes a loud groan from the background, with this guy claiming ‘I do not believe in the theory of evolution’.

An intelligent person, would have obviously chuckled quietly and let him drown in his ignorance; alas, I had to tell him that he’s an idiot subtly so much so that it turned into a heated debate. To be fair, the other fellow is quite an intelligent chap, it’s just, well you know how it goes with these fundamentalist. Needless to say he was a former-buddhist converted into Christianity. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Christianity, and they can be good people, but sometimes, they tend to have their heads up their arses.

So back to the debate;

The issue at hand was, Theory of Evolution vs Intelligent Design (Creationism, or Idiocy)

There is no need for me to reiterate the concept of natural selection, for I give my readers (or the lack thereof) the benefit of the doubt that they possess enough intelligence to wiki it in the event of not knowing anything about it. So lets talk about the contradicting topic, Intelligent Design. This topic suggests that we, in fact do not share common ancestors with other species , but in actuality, Birds are designed with beaks and feathers, fishes are born with scales, etc. This design is placed by an intelligent agent (Read: God).

What, the, fuck?

And here I was, trying to reason out with someone who actually thinks the world is 4,000 years old (he even quoted Noah’s ark at some point). that in fact, the world is millions of years old with abundant flora and fauna, that have long gone extinct. Oh no, there was no convincing this guy, I’ll give him as much as sticking to your principles, but it was getting borderline ridiculous. Since when could you argue whatever that are in religious textures in a scientific argument?

In the event that the world was indeed 4,000 years old, how in the name of Fuck, will you explain the extinction of dinosaurs? None of that God made them and destroyed them shit. In the event that he did so, he would have had to done it in 7 days, which according to genesis, would imply God did diddly-squat, about dinosaurs. I suppose they could argue all fossils found are fabricated and made by the Jesus-hating Jews, or something along those lines.

One of his fundamental arguments was; If evolution was real, how come you don’t see it nowadays?

It boggles the mind that someone of this caliber is trying to study medicine; a field strongly based on scientific notions. Hell, even traditional medicine has some science involved, albeit of less exposure to the public. Anyways, does he completely fail to realize that evolution is nothing but simple changes in what is essentially the core of any living organism, -DNA- ? Splits occur when DNA gets altered in any way, read: Mutation, Deletion, Translocation, Inversions, Duplications, etc. The effects may be benign, may be malignant or occasionally helpful. Human DNA is considered stable, and is less susceptible to mutation because of an innate repair mechanism that occurs when chromosome is broken down, and mixed, before sending it down via sperm or the ovum. Furthermore, beyond this mechanism, mutation still occur, where people are born with improper chromosomes. Down’s, Fragile X, Patau, Cat eye, etc. This would be the malignant changes, most benign changes can’t be visual, and have little to no effect on Man’s physiology.

But what about the fruitful changes, HypoG?

Geez, I don’t know, maybe some people being born with sickle cell anemia to counter onset of Malaria (P. falciparum)?

Sure Sickle cell brings about it’s whole set of problems, but, it does indeed counter Malaria, and it is prevalent in zones of frequent Malaria infection. Nobody said evolution was perfect, but it happens, f00.

I do not imply that it is bad to practice religion, in fact it is good with helping us set limits to moral standards and such that we should abide by. It gives a set of principles one ought to follow to be blessed by God. However, to go to the extent of chucking out stupid statements and ideologies in what one thinks might be true is in fact, nothing but an insult to the very God one worships. Instead, stop trying to be a fundie, and take all the good your religion has to offer, absorb it and practice it. If you can refute something, do it scientifically, and empirically. Do not show me a book, in which it says dinosaurs are a myth and expect me to believe it. Prove it.

In the case above, it is rather sad that this brilliant chap is so enshrouded by his new-found religion that he would disagree with the very scientifically proved theory. For crying out loud, you’re trying to be a doctor, and to completely refuse (not refute) a scientific notion like this is rather hypocritical when the field you choose to venture into is something that strongly asserts itself with science.

Darvin 1 : Stupid Creationism Spewing Bastards 0

-HypoG

P.S. The author would like to take this opportunity to state that he is in fact, NOT an Atheist. The author would also like to reassert that the purpose of this article was not to demean God or other Metaphysical Entities that MAY control this universe, but to explain to people that, Indeed, people sometimes take religion too literally to the event of making themselves sound like idiots. Cheerios.

Anatomy

Anatomy is the most important subject in the course of medicine. A good knowledge in the field is vital for any aspiring doctor, for a weak knowledge in anatomy makes a mediocre physician.

Anyhow, often time, people tend to rate their level and knowledge on a particular subject much higher than what it really is. Humility at it’s best, I reckon. Then there’s the rest who don’t really know much, but often google when questions are posed towards them to find answers. Whilst this is usually frowned upon, at least the person is making an effort in finding out stuff that he doesn’t know.

Test yourself how good you are in your anatomy, by trying to answer this 5 basic anatomy questions. If you find yourself struggling to answer these, you might need to mug up on your anatomy knowledge. Getting the majority of these questions right would indicate a rather arbitrarily sufficient amount of knowledge (considering not the entire syllabus is covered), Give it a try!

1) How Do fascia attach to Bones?

2) The ureter may be found immediately anterior to the origin of what artery? (This is Too Fuckin Easy)

3)The greater omentum is derived from which embryonic structures?

4)Name Components derived from neural crest?

5)The smooth part of the right atrium derives from which embryonic structures?

These questions are actually based on questions that I studied for my anatomy Final exams, from which I only managed a meager 4. I know I could have done better, but due to certain circumstances (slothmud; pc upgrade; games; sickness) I have nobody else to blame beyond myself for the slump of mediocrity I dwell in. The questions are not originally of multiple choice, but I merely added that, for 2 reasons. 1 – To make myself sound smart, 2- to confuse the readers. Feel free to leave your answers in the comment section together with an explanation!

Edit : The questions were initially Multiple Choice, but I realized since there was only 1 correct answer and everything else was so far fetched it wasn’t a very smart choice. I have since made it into subjective, where you may fill up the blanks.

-Lord HypoG of Azuroth

Things to Come…

Pelbagai peristiwa telah giat berlaku sejak says akhir sekali mengemaskinikan blog saya. Seperti yang dijanjikan, saya buat pertama kali (dan besar kemungkinan, kali terakhir) menulis dalam bahasa kebangsaan negara saya, Bahasa Malaysia.

Maafkan kedaifan saya dalam mengarang petikan dalam bahasa melayu, sudah lama tidak bertutur dalam bahasa yang suci ini, dan bolehlah dikatakan, kebolehan saya berbahas dan menulis dalam bahasa ini dikaitkan sebagai besi buruk yang sudah kian berkarat. Walaubagaimanapun, matlamat saya menulis dalam bahasa melayu bukanlah sekadar menonjolkan sifat memperbesarkan diri sendiri yang saya senantiasa mengungkap; tidak, niat sebenar saya adalah untuk menggayakan sifat patriotisma saya terhadap negara tercinta dan bahasa kebangsaan yang sering membangkitkan sifat kemegahan terhadap keistimewaan Malaysia. Saya tidak larat berdusta lagi, jadi saya melantur balik apa yang dikatakan tadi. Sememangya saya mengarangkan cerpen ini adalah untuk mengutuk semua pihak yang dicabar sebelum ini untuk mengarang sekurang-kurangnya satu artikel dalam Bahasa Malaysia yang diajar disekolah untuk lebih kurang 12 tahun!

“Tepuk Dada, tanya selera la beb.”

Adalah tidak bermaksud jika saya menulis satu artikel pendek yang tidak memberi sebarang manfaat kepada saya, jadi, saya bercadang untuk menulis artikel dalam bidang yang amat dekat kepada saya; bidang komputer.

Dalam Zaman dan Era ini, boleh dikatakan, siapa yang tidak tahu apa itu computer, dikaitkan sebagai Katak dibawah tempurung. Sudah hampir 2 dekat computer peribadi (personal computer) dijadikan alat yang mustahak dalam kehidupan setiap manusia. Lebih-lebih lagi, sangkaan komputer sebagai alat pembelajaran sahaja tidak lagi benar. Kini komputer adalah alatan hiburan, untuk menonton wayang, mendengar muzik, bermain permainan berlandaskan grafik 3d, dan lebih-lebih lagi dengan pengembaraan internet, banyak lagi boleh dilakukan.

Biasanya, untuk komputer berfungsi, ianya perlu software yang dikenali sebagai (Operating System). (I will not resolve to using Malay translations for such computer terms because sometimes they are stupid; read : kayu mainian for joystick). O.S. yang paling terkenal dan paling dibenci adalah WINDOWS, kini sebagai Windows Vista. Walaubagaimanapun, Vistamasih baru, dan terdapat pelbagai masalah berkaitain dengan software dan hardware dengan vista. Disebabkan oleh itu, Windows sebelum ini, iaitu Windows XP, masih banyak dipergunakan.

Terdapat juga OS alternatif yang boleh dipergunakan, iaitu MAC OS dan Linux. Mac Os boleh dikatakan adalah untuk “Batty Boy’s” dan bagi mereka yang tidak pasti akan seksuality mereka, dan bagi Linux, tiada perkataan dalam bahasa melayu untuk menerangkan kebolehannya. Dalam Bahasa Ingeris, Linux boleh diterangkan sebagai : Awesomeness.

Saya amat gemar mengunakan Linux, tetapi tidak berani menjadikan Linux sebagai OS-standalone dalam komputer saya. Terdapat pelbagai alasan bagi saya menjadikanya begitu, tetapi boleh dikatakan sebab utamanya adalah kerana jumlah permainan yang boleh dimain dalam Linux adalah amat rendah.

Sila baca artikel selepas ini untuk mengetahui cara menginstall Linux dalam komputer anda.

Yang Benar,

HypoG

Holy shit, that was hard, here’s an english version. Don’t worry the guide will be in English, I can’t do malay no more damnit

English Translation :

Many moons have passed since I last updated my blog; and as I have previously promised, for the first time ever (and highly likely, the last time) I’ve written an entry in my countries national language, Malaysian language (Formerly Malay Language)

 

Forgive my incompetence in penning my thoughts in Malay, as it’s been a long time since I last spoke in this pure language, and it may be said by ability to converse and write in this language may be related to a rod of iron that lies rusting over the days. Anyhow, the reason why I am writing in Malay is not to gloat as I always express myself; no, the real reason is to express my patriotism towards my beloved country and the national language which often riles up a sense of pride for the uniqueness that is Malaysia. That was a mouthful and I can’t bear to lie out of my ass anymore, I digress. Actually, I’ve written this short article to tease the parties which I challenged to write, at least 1 article in Malay, a language that has been thought to them in school for not less than 12 years.

You should be ashamed of yourselves, hoes.

 

It is rather pointless for me to write a short article that has no significance to me, so, I’ve decided to write an article about a field that is very close to me, the computer field.

 

In this time and age, it would be rather rare to meet someone who is completely ignorant over the advent of computers. For almost 2 decades, the personal computer has been made into a very important extension to the lives of every man. Moreover, the notion that computers are solely an educational tool has been disproved. Nowadays, computers are not only a medium of entertainment, but also one to watch movies, listen to music and play games, based on the 3d format. Combined with the internet, the possibilities are rather endless.

For a computer to function, it needs the software known as an Operating System. The most popular OS, and perhaps most hated would be Windows, with the latest installment named Windows Vista. However, Vista is still relatively new, with ample bugs related to software, hardware and driver issues, making a full conversion still far away in the horizon. Due to this, it’s predecessor, Windows XP, still remains widely used.

There are also alternate OS’ which one may utilize, namely MAC OS and Linux. MAC OS can be described as an OS developed for Batty Boy’s, and for those who are not aware of their sexuality (most often homosexuals). As for Linux, there’s only one word to describe it, and that word is nothing short of ‘awesomeness’

I am very fond of using Linux, and it surely has come a long way since it’s inception, but, till this day, I do not dare make Linux as the only OS in any of my computers (Save one junk laptop that serves as nothing but a file server, with no physical access). There are many reasons for this, but to be honest, the primary reason for this is due to the lack of games that are compatible with the Linux OS. Do not get me wrong though; Linux is a very powerful OS and often times much better than windows in doing what it’s supposed to do, but, games are an important factor for me, and this usually is the selling point for thousands of other computer users in the teenage to early 20’s group.

 

No longer is it valid to have only one operating system in your computer. It’s about time you grew a pair and installed Linux and give it a whirl. In my next article, I will not only teach you how to install Linux unto a Windows XP Machine, but also Windows Vista. That’s right, three OS’ in one machine. Windows XP, Windows Vista and Linux.

 

Stay tuned for the next update, coming in the next few days as I finalize some parts. Indeed, I need something to take my mind off of Pat. Anat.

 

 

His Awesomeness,

HypoG